Breastfeeding

I didn't quite experience a lot of hormonal emotions during pregnancy, I guess it waited to come out like a flood days after they were born.

It's a sudden smack in the face becoming a mother, and I got slapped twice.

These little people are unpredictable. I didn't know what they wanted and when they wanted it, they didn't know what they wanted and when they needed it. It was a huge guessing game while having books and people tell me what is right and what is wrong.

Breastfeeding- apparently is the only right way- correction, it WAS.
That was my biggest battle, it was enchanting and beautiful to breastfeed as well as exhausting and much much more painful than labor.

There is so much pressure on the issue of breastfeeding. I was well aware that there is nothing better and it served many purposes for them and me, I was also aware that almost every twin mother I knew/met (which is many working at a Pediatricians office) had done it.
So why couldn't I?
Because I just couldn't. & it made me angry to think people would judge me for it. It was hard enough to feel like I couldn't be the sole nourishment to my children as I also wasn't producing enough and had the guilt that I couldn't handle the pain, discomfort and was feeling the loss of intimacy with my girls- there were people and books attacking people like me.

I am so happy I had friends who breastfed exclusively and friends who didn't who encouraged me to do what was best for the three of us. What a blessing! I'm sad for mothers who don't have that.

Books get around to talking about doing formula, but it's a small portion and they start out by saying it's not the best. Perhaps it's not written intending to hurt and fuel a guilt trip but it does! There are no books that start by saying, 'Hey, it's okay if you don't breastfeed only or at all, there are millions or mothers who don't and millions of children who grow up just as healthy as a breastfed child. You're not alone. You're feelings of guilt and sadness as you lose your milk supply is okay to have. It's hard, but you do what you know is best for you and your little ones."
What I would pay for a book that reads that!

Mothers need constant encouragment! It's easy to feel down, exhausted and wonder if what I did was best, did I do right, am I doing right?

If you are a mom or are becoming one and need it.... you are a great mother, you do what you can, you do your best and take it one day one moment at a time. Continue to strive to be what you want to be as a mother, after a long difficult day, pause and love yourself for the mother that you are.
NO ONE is a better mother for your baby(s) than YOU.

I should write a book entitled, "You Are An AWESOME Mom"
I'll be rich