'Ah, the simple luxury of being a stay at home mom. It's easy to just sleep in, lounge on the couch and watch my favorite shows. I catch up with friends on the phone while my children play happily and well with one another' Said no mom ever.
I love going on blogs and reading up on how other moms make a business out of being a mom. They prep, they plan, they are doing as best they can to be on top of it all. I always think, "Yes. I will do this" and then don't. But I do find a more coordinated more thought out and prepped day makes it an easier day for my girls and me.
I work twice a week, and I do love my job. Maybe cause I'm only their twice a week but regardless it's my two days to kind of gain some sanity and talk to other adults. Then the other 5 days a week I am a stay at home mom. And I tell you with all truth, being home for a day with my two girls is harder work than the two days of actual work.
Seeing a mom who has it all planned out and have a routine defiantly has a 1up on me. I have days of no plans and just doing whatever, which can feel like days that I am trying to just stay afloat and survive. And days with play dates planned or a project to do with the girls planned out along with our usual eat, play, nap, routine in place always make my days a little bit easier.
So the idea of getting a calendar/notebook to keep track of meals, housecleaning, projects, dates etc., doesn't seem like a bad idea at all.
It makes me feel kind of like I'm in some sort of profession. The business of being a mom....
I'm the boss and my children are my workers.
First off as bad as that can be made out to seem, I like to take a look at what a boss is.
A boss is a servant.
Well, how can that be? They are in charge.
Yes they are! They are the ones who make decisions, exercises authority, manage and direct. But for what purpose?? To better their company. To keep things organized for their company. And who is in their company? Their workers/employees are.
They direct and manage to benefit their workers. Their workers depend on their boss to keep things in an orderly fashion in order to flourish and grow.
I feel a great example of this is a Coxswain.
A coxswain is:
'the member who sits in the stern facing the bow, steers the boat, and coordinates the power and rhythm of the rowers.'
The sport of rowing is in the Olympics. It is a technical sport because the preciseness of each row and stroke is vital to keeping a moving functioning boat. Everyone must be exact and a Coxswain is there to direct, coordinate and create a rhythm... Ooooh now you get what I mean by how a boss is like coxswain AND how a mom is a boss, right?!
Another way coxswain is looked at is simply, 'boat servant'.
So a boss is a servant. And a good boss isn't a good boss by pushing BUT by leading. A good boss gets followed.
Mama = boss. Children = Workers.
Yes, saying my children are my workers sounds mean.
Whatevs. But um, think about it. If your child does good, listens, behaves, follows direction and gets the job done... you usually reward them! A worker goes to work, does their job and follows direction and what do they get? Paid!
When we view ourselves more as bosses and less like the employee as moms we realize that:
1. We are still serving our children. By directing them and creating a functional home (business). We create the rhythm to keep the boat moving forward.
2. If we act as the employee to our children they don't know how to manage and we create chaos for them and insanity for us.
3. With them as our 'workers' especially for children.... consistency, order, and direction is EXACTLY what they need and thrive on. They look for work, to have a task and to complete it. It helps them to grow in so many ways and it keeps them in line. There wont be an oar out of sync to fumble their boat.
4. Being a boss doesn't have to make you a mean person. You can still be a boss and love your children and have fun with them. They are to me, my little buddies, my friends and will be my adult children one day and I hope that they see all the love I poured into them and still want to be my buddies.
Being a mom boss is hard, we're self employed, boss of our own company and it's a hard business.
It's much more work than just creating a routine for sleeping and eating.
It's teaching your child to move their hands, to direct a spoon in their hands to their mouth, teaching a person to walk, how to move their mouth to make the right sounds to talk, what right and wrong is, to teach the basics of numbers and letters and then going beyond that. It's constant cleaning, it's constant keeping your eyes on them and ears open to hear. It's being the doctor to their boo boos and surgeon to their dolls that got a hole in them. It's being a chauffeur and endless picking up and putting down. It's the greatest patience tester. It's learning every day something new as a mother. It's maintaining a well balanced diet for a child who refuses food so we make crazy faces and sounds in hopes they eat what we probably wouldn't want to eat either. We are a one man show. It's being their fashion coordinator and hair dresser in one. The nurse who gives a bath and cleans their butts.
We are parents.
It's hard business.
But it's good business.