16 months to eternity

Yesterday we went to Marbles Museum for the second time and got a membership. That place is wonderful and the girls are so happy. I love that it wears the girls out so that when we get home they nap great but it also wears us out and I think I napped the whole time they did.

While at Marbles I took a photo of the girls sitting in a little red car.
I see two 16 month old girls playing in a make believe car, but I also see two 16 year old's preparing for a trip to the mall.
I know time flies and it drives me nuts when people constantly remind me "Enjoy it while it lasts." or "Don't blink."
I know I know, and it is- I don't like to be reminded as I remind myself often enough.

My sweet babies are so big and when I hold them I recall how they once were 15 pounds lighter and curled into perfect balls upon my chest. I know I can't hold them like I do now forever, and there will come a day that I will see them drive off together....
But they will be together.

The way they play with each other, follow each other, chase, laugh at each other, copy and shadow. I feel this guarantee of a unique relationship that will go beyond toddlers, tween, and 16.
I feel this reassurance that when they hit the road of life and I'm not right behind to watch their every move that they have each other and they have each others backs.
I feel comfort.



I have been asked to help do the 'Parent Talk' during FUSION a few times.
Fusion is a time where all the kids from all three hours of church come together on a weeknight with their parents and celebrate together in worship, dancing, skits, games, teaching and family time.
It's a wonderful thing just to be apart of it. But to be asked to help do a part where I speak to the parents about parenting.... that's humbling.
These parents have kids from the ages of 4 to 11 yrs and probably have older children and more children than me. They have much more experience than I do. I am trying to influence parents to participate in their children's spiritual growth for an age group I do not have myself.

It has taught me a lot. It makes me ask myself questions, to look deeper and think harder.
After all if there is one thing I can teach Lilly and Rose - it's God. To show them and reveal God to them. His love His hope His spirit.

There is nothing I can keep in this world.
There is nothing that I can leave to this world that will last, that will not eventual grow old or fade away.
All I have is the legacy of God that I can leave. The only thing that will last. To my girls I want them to know the One thing that will last, the One thing they can turn to. The One thing that will never grow old or fade away.

I can look back in my life, my history and see God everywhere.
Not just a one time event. Not a one time deal.
If I can help my girls build a relationship with Jesus. Then I am leaving them in the Hands that has and still holds the weight of the world (& mine) without strain. Without fail.

Eternity doesn't seem possible but the idea that there is no eternity seems less possible.
The idea of nothing after we die, the thought that my mind, my being becomes nothing is impossible for my mind to wrap around. None existent- seems less believable than living everyday for the rest of days, even in another world like Heaven.
Eternity is real.
God is real.
I want my girls to have that, to know that. To live a life in reverence to that. 

I can talk up and down about it to them, but I honestly think it wont mean a thing if I am not living my life the same way I hope and dream they will.

I really want to reach a higher goal each day than the last of growing my relationship with God. Each day a better building I am building on the Rock.
I just keep praying I can be better, to reach farther and walk greater distances- so I can lead my girls to those distances.

I say I want these things but I know I don't show it.
I am working to fan a flame. My own to help start two new flames.

So someday when my two 16 year old girls go for a trip to the mall, I wont have just the comfort of knowing they have each others back. I know something Greater and Bigger, Lovelier, Stronger, Mightier, and Perfect has their back as well.



This life wont last. Not here anyway. It can be the scariest thought in this world, or most reassuring.