I figured with a child I have a 50/50 chance for a good outing. A 50% chance of success. But with twins that changes to a 33.3% chance of a good outing. My chances change because I have 3 probabilites.
1- Both are happy!!
2. Both are not happy :(
3. One is happy but the other is not :/
And to reach my maximum 33.3% I need to make sure they are well rested, not hungry- or that they are so they are distracted eating if we are going out to eat, clean diapers, enough toys, enough snacks, enough drinks, lovies are in tow, enough to distract them to last us the duration of time needed to accomplish the outing. And I have to know their time limit before they start to lose it.
I've come to expect things are not going to go as expected.
I have gone to get photo's done expecting them to sit happily, smile, and get priceless pictures to hang in my house to look back on with joyful memories.
I came home flustered and frustrated. Rose cried the whole time. Trying to get her to sit in front of the photographer was like asking her to sit on lava. The few photos we got were blurry because they wouldn't sit still. That was the last time we went to JCPenny's.
I can picture in my head how perfect things can go when we get out, or do a craft together or try something new. I picture gobbling up new foods, but get food untried or spat back out on the table. I picture a fun time at the beach, but get two girls squealing as they try to climb my body like a ladder because the sand is stuck to their feet and hands. I picture them finger painting with grace, but get two very messy children who are frightened by the dried paint on their hands.
It's no longer a picture I imagine of perfection but of life. I factor in the dislikes, the anxiety, the uncertainty, the rejections, and the cries.
It doesn't make it bad, it makes it real. It makes them, them and me, me. It makes us all a family. It gives us the unexpected and the joys that come with that.
How boring if it did always turn out exactly the way I wanted it to? Okay, yes it would be nice but I'd never have my kids be themselves. They are so unique and so girly and quirky! They make stories we can look back on and laugh at and learn from. It makes my everyday something new and unpredictable. I get to see my girls experience all these things with their personalities shining through, whether they are crying or laughing.
I don't let myself expect perfection anymore. It won't happen. It's not meant to happen. My life isn't a well drawn picture with perfect strokes and shades, but full of color and splatter.
I expect to enjoy the moment. Enjoy their smiles, enjoy their laughs, enjoy their unexpectedness.
So dear friends. Never expect anything except the unexpected.
