Potty Trainging Day 3

Day 3 :

I wasn't sure if I wanted to blog this now or wait. But I guess a fresh mind is better.

I think I better start with Lilly. I am so proud. She has it down.
She didn't cling to her potty today. I feel it helped that I laid out an old swaddle blanket and let her sit on it. She doesn't like siting on the cold tile floor and that blanket was like a boat on an icy ocean to her. She happily sat and played and we did watch Cars 2 by request- twice. She wasn't too distracted and she plainly told me she had to pee pee and I told her to use her potty and she did.
It was 3 out of 3 this morning for her and 3 out of 4 this evening.
She only had an accident cause I again tried underwear so she could get a feel for it (plus she looks so cute styling her big girl underpants) She loves them but again that false sense of security and she let it go. She was so upset about it. I blame it on me. She needs more time.

Now Rose....
Oh what to say about this child.
I felt like it was day one again. She held every drop she could in.
In the morning Lilly went three times and Rose four. The first three times the girls both went exactly at the same time. EXACTLY. I asked the girls to sit and try the first three times and they both did, then Rose would get right back up and walk off. But before I knew it Lilly was going and I was praising and monitoring and when I looked back there was Rose peeing too, except on the floor.
I was like, "Wow! They are peeing exactly at the same time!! That's neat." Though Rose's mysterious disappearance was not so neat cause of her accidents.
It occurred to me finally that Rose may intentionally be peeing when Lilly was so I would be too distracted to hound Rose back to the potty before or during her release!
Now she is a two year old, recently turned 2 year old. Am I making an extreme assumption that my toddler is planning to go when her sister does to escape the potty??? Yes. Yes I am.

My parents came by in the afternoon to keep me company. The only problem is that Rose goes into baby mode around my mom, she acts like a different child all together. So when my mom became present she screamed and cried if I told her to go to the potty if she had the urge. She also refused to sit on it again. My mom tried to sit her on it and Rose looked like a cat over a sink of water, claws out ready for battle.
Finally in the evening after my rents left, she went, ooooh, maybe 6 or 7 times, and did the deed in her potty twice. It was a glorious two times. But the other times... it's like she doesn't even care anymore.
She pees- I clean, even having her clean is fun to her so it's no punishment. She doesn't mind the wet, the gross, the yuck. No matter how I express my distaste for her doing this she doesn't seem phased. The only time she seemed really bothered was when I let her try underwear on and she wet it. That feeling really got to her. It was stuck on her.

So we are moving to training pants/underwear. Daniel ran out and got them for her and a few waterproof covers and we're hoping that does it for her. It will hopefully eliminate the majority of cleaning and she have that uncomfortableness she so loathes. 

But what was good about today???
Lilly making her mama oh so happy.
Rose did go at least 3 times to the potty. It was still more than day one.

I work tomorrow. I was really hopeful that Rose would be farther along but at least Lilly has it down. They go off with my mom tomorrow and hopefully she keeps moving forward and not fall back like she did when she saw her today.

I gave in and let them have a treat from the poop bag, thought neither have actually done it on their own in the potty. But they look so cute and happy with their prizes!!

Here is Day 1 and Day 2

Potty Trianing, Day 2

Day 2:

It was a little rough because I couldn't continue right where I left off the night before in the morning because we had church. So the girls were diapered up and we went to church and then to Target. We did pick out some toys for a poop bag. You know what I mean, they poop and they get a prize from the poop bag. Not as gross as it seems. (Neither have achieves a poop prize yet)

When we did get home we quickly undressed them and set them up for another day in their playroom,
Rose didn't pee a million times on the floor in the morning, Lilly did insist on sitting on her chair. Rose happily sat on her chair without complaint and they both ate their lunch sitting on their potty. Their choice.

It wasn't a long morning and Lilly did her thing fine and Rose we were determined to have pee at least once before she went to bed for her nap. After all she guzzled a gallon of juice she HAD to go and again the strength of her little bottom surprised me as she was holding every drop inside her so she wouldn't have to let it out on the potty.

25 minutes past their nap time Rose finally gave in and she got a mini party and I threw my own cause I was ready for a nap myself!

The evening was a surprise!
Rose went to her potty, she was patient, and she tried. Lilly had an accident which again made her afraid to leave her chair.  I got the most frustrated when we were making dinner and I offered the girls to help make a homemade pizza and Lilly LOVES to help me in the kitchen but because she was restrained her to potty because she was afraid to have an accident she cried and cried and cried some more. And after about 10 minutes of crying and saying 'pee pee! pee pee!' I was certain she had to go and I waited but those 10 minutes made me feel like I was going to go insane. I took a moment to step outside and take a breather, gain some sanity back and then went back in to try again.
I think I waited a half hour before just deciding to make the pizza myself.
I felt guilty. But she wouldn't leave her chair! I thought she had to go numero dos but it turned out it was just fear holding her there.

But during that time Rose played in the kitchen and went on her own to the potty and sat and did her business 3 times! What a turn around from yesterday! Was it a miracle?! It wasn't because she peed twice on the floor after... but I was happy nonetheless!

Since both girls were happily seated on their chairs we brought their table and let them eat dinner on their potties.

 

Talk about luxury...

I gave underwear a try today, hoping it would help Lilly leave the potty and also let them learn to pull their clothes up and down. It unfortunately gave a sense of security and they both had accidents. So instead it worried me. But it had only been a day and a half. It did at least help Lilly get up and play a bit.

I was able to convince Lilly to play away from her chair and Rose had no troubles with that. Rose had her accidents at the end of the night which burst my bubble of hope. But I reminded myself that some steps are taken backwards and then forward again. 

I said, "If you have to pee, go to the potty." soooo many times today and yesterday I kept mixing my words up by this evening calling out, "If you have to potty, go to the pee!" 

Lilly stayed an average of B because of her mishaps of accidents and not leaving her chair.

Rose went to a B for her going on her own and really learning quickly!

Now if I was to suggest to another mama of twins about potty training her kids, whether or not to do them one at a time or both at the same time.... I'm still figuring that out for myself. With Daniel here it makes it that we each have one girl to watch and teach while crisscrossing to the other here and there. I'd say just get it all done at one time instead of spreading it out and separating them. 

But tomorrow when I'm allllll alone trying this by myself... I may say different.

Wish me luck as I go to Day 3... alone...

Potty Training Day 1

Disaster, terrible, wreck, and why?! Are the words that come to mind for day one.

Let me start with Lilly.
Lilly is a champ. She first tried and went to the potty on her own months and months ago, I can't remember when exactly but it made me proud.
Day one for Lilly was not that different to her except I had her waist down naked. She didn't mind it and she peed in the potty on her own. She got her treats and praises and she was happy.... until.... she accidently peed on herself. Just a little and she made it to the potty for the rest. But that did it. She was so afraid it would happen again that she refused to get off the potty. UGH!
It made it easy on my part but I wanted her to understand life goes on and we pee when we need to. But for Lilly, overall for the day, gets a B.

Now Rose. My Rose. My sweet tempered, chillaxe Rose, was not happy. She threw tantrums I've never seen her throw. She peed so many times I couldn't keep count. My only guess was around 15 times in the morning and more than that in the evening. And not one time of those in the potty. I was so frustrated. I felt like I was wasting a perfectly wonderful and warm day in the middle of winter to just clean pee. Which really Daniel was the main cleaner for Rose. We both were so frustrated.
I can't count how many times I have said, "If you need to pee, go to the potty."
That child refused to sit on that potty. When we told her if she needed to go she needed to sit on the potty she threw her arms around and jumped in anger. She was so mad and afraid. When she peed on herself she would scream like acid was piercing her skin. She hated the feeling, she hated being messy and wet.
I take back that she never used the potty. She did at the very end of the night, only because Daniel and I forced her to sit on the potty. Daniel figured out how often she was going and it was about every 7-8 minutes. She sat on her potty for about 30 minutes after the 7 to make sure she got it. She cried and I babied her with words, sweets and stickers. Rose finally went and she had the oddest expression on her face, because it was odd to pee in her potty.
Her overall grade was a C-

I was happy that she at least became comfortable with her seat and was sitting on it on her own. She also learned to hold in her pee for long periods of time because she didn't want to go in her potty which slightly impressed me. The peeing on the floor when she finally was released from the potty did not.

My technique is my own. I used a few friends ways, some things I read online and made my own way based on what I thought would work best for my children.

I had them undressed from the waist down.
I had a jar full of, marshmallows, chocolate marshmallows, m&ms, chunky chocolate chips, and recesses, so they had their choices for a treat and could see their candy all day to remind them if they want candy they need to do the deed.
I blocked them off from anywhere in the house to just their playroom, which is tiled floors so it would be easier clean up.
I gave them plenty of toys to occupy them in there.
I decided on no tv as it distracts them too much and they pee without realizing it until it's too late.

I did try this woman's way I read on a pinterest post to use a doll and a dropper to make it look like the doll peed to help them understand the concept. It was one of those Nailed It/Fail moments when after the girls were SO impressed with their dolls going potty they searched for all the dolls they could find to have them try to go potty too. I was loaded with dolls and I decided this angle was not for my girls.

It's hard to keep a constant eye on them, but after the morning the evening felt less terrible.

I find it hard with two mainly because I bribed Rose to just sit on her potty and Lilly wouldn't leave her potty. So when Rose got her bribe, Lilly would have this grief stricken & confused face as to why she didn't get something too. I would end up giving her some candy too because it felt unfair, I would say, "You can have a treat for sitting on your potty." and Lilly would reach out for a treat thinking I was talking to her too and she was sitting on her potty so I would give her one.

The bribe thing is hard with two but it also showed them examples of rewards when they were not being the one rewarded as well as understand that they have to fulfill a goal in order to achieve a reward. But again because of their age, it's a little hard to compute and all they see if their sister getting a reward.

On the other hand. The one getting praise and rewarded- I feel I couldn't give them enough praise and truly feel their reward cause I was trying to back the other one off and had to stop and explain to them why they aren't getting something.
It was almost chaotic trying to say,
"YAY! Good job!"
"No you have to potty first."
"You get a treat!!"
"You'll get a treat when you potty."
"Here pick a candy."
"If you pee I'll let you have a candy."
"I'm so proud of..."
"No, you have to potty first, sister pottied so she gets a reward."
And my chance to really throw a party is over.

I was just happy the day was over but sad because I didn't think the girls were so far behind. I thought Rose had a general good idea of the whole potty deal because she's seen Lilly go. But her refusal and stubbornness surprised me.

Day one was rough, but I am writing this blog in the evening of Day 2 and it does get better.

On to writing Day 2 post!!

DIY Chalkboard Frames

So this is my first DIY post I'm doing which is outside of my usual posts but I love DIY projects and getting my hands messy with art.

Lilly & Rose are turning two in less than two weeks and we will be throwing a party for them. I said I would NOT go overboard this year because though it wasn't a whole whole lot to last years 1 year party I made everything myself.

When I see things on the shelf at a store I think, "Cute!" then I look at the price and decide, "OH MY! I can make that myself!!" Then I build up way too many projects and find myself running out of time, rushing and then exhausted.

I decided this year nothing too extravagant, but of course the treacherous and addicting Pinterest sparked too many urges to not attempt a few fun projects for their party.

I saw the chalkboards on some pins for parties as a means to show the menu and foods for the party. Do I need it? NO. But do I want it? YES! I talked myself into how this is a long term item I'll have for every party for next 35 years.... because they aren't allowed to date till then let alone get married and leave me.

But why buy chalkboards when I can MAKE THEM?!

I went to the dollar store and picked out some frames. Most the same size but I like different shapes and sizes therefore none need to look exactly the same because attempting to replicate the same thing over and over can be an obstacle and boring for me.

I then picked up some chalkboard spray paint from Michael's and I had a 50% off coupon. I got chalk and some sponge brushed also. I had Mod Podge already as well as scrapbook paper. So My total cost for this project was $15.

My tools:
Frames
Chalkboard Spray Paint
Scrapbook Paper
Mod Podge
Sponge Brushes
Chalk

First I need to get my frames out and begin pulling them apart to get the glass out.

 After I removed the glass I just straight up used the plastic bags (& some) that they came in to lay them on as I sprayed the Chalkboard paint. You can tell I use this spot often for my messy work that needs to be done outside.

Note to self: Don't do this on a windy day- I had a load of leaves sweep over my freshly painted frames and I was no happy mama.

 I let them dry and I did another coat as the label suggested. 

Now onto my frames! I wanted to use the same scrapbook patterns and colors I did for the girls Birthday Sign I made for them last year. I wanted to go for a collage of different papers for my first frame. I figured it'd make it easier to not have all the paper fit exactly right on the frame and can be totally random. 

I got my sponge brush and globed some Mod Podge on the section of the frame I was going to put paper on. I just tore pieces off from the scrapbook paper- again for the random look I was going for. Laid it over the soaked section of the frame and put more Mod Podge on top of the paper. I continued this for a while with different sizes of teared paper till I covered all parts of the frame.

After it was all covered I did a second coat. Here is how it looked when I was done.

Here are three frames I finished so far with the glass covered in the Chalkboard Spray Paint back in. I did the second with one paper and added stars and third is one paper with ladybugs all over. Sorry it's a little blurry!

 I chalked the whole board down and wiped it clean as directed on the Spray can. But It worked like a charm! It's easy to write on and erase. I love the look and am so excited to use them in a couple weeks for the girls PARTAY!

 TA DA!

Always Expect the Unexpected

I'm sure that can be said for any child but when you enter in another child, even more so. And a child that is the same age, EVEN more.

I figured with a child I have a 50/50 chance for a good outing. A 50% chance of success. But with twins that changes to a 33.3% chance of a good outing. My chances change because I have 3 probabilites.
1- Both are happy!!
2. Both are not happy :(
3. One is happy but the other is not :/

And to reach my maximum 33.3% I need to make sure they are well rested, not hungry- or that they are so they are distracted eating if we are going out to eat, clean diapers, enough toys, enough snacks, enough drinks, lovies are in tow, enough to distract them to last us the duration of time needed to accomplish the outing. And I have to know their time limit before they start to lose it.

I've come to expect things are not going to go as expected.

I have gone to get photo's done expecting them to sit happily, smile, and get priceless pictures to hang in my house to look back on with joyful memories.
I came home flustered and frustrated. Rose cried the whole time. Trying to get her to sit in front of the photographer was like asking her to sit on lava. The few photos we got were blurry because they wouldn't sit still. That was the last time we went to JCPenny's.

I can picture in my head how perfect things can go when we get out, or do a craft together or try something new. I picture gobbling up new foods, but get food untried or spat back out on the table. I picture a fun time at the beach, but get two girls squealing as they try to climb my body like a ladder because the sand is stuck to their feet and hands. I picture them finger painting with grace, but get two very messy children who are frightened by the dried paint on their hands.

It's no longer a picture I imagine of perfection but of life. I factor in the dislikes, the anxiety, the uncertainty, the rejections, and the cries.

It doesn't make it bad, it makes it real. It makes them, them and me, me. It makes us all a family. It gives us the unexpected and the joys that come with that.

How boring if it did always turn out exactly the way I wanted it to? Okay, yes it would be nice but I'd never have my kids be themselves. They are so unique and so girly and quirky! They make stories we can look back on and laugh at and learn from. It makes my everyday something new and unpredictable. I get to see my girls experience all these things with their personalities shining through, whether they are crying or laughing.

I don't let myself expect perfection anymore. It won't happen. It's not meant to happen. My life isn't a well drawn picture with perfect strokes and shades, but full of color and splatter.

I expect to enjoy the moment. Enjoy their smiles, enjoy their laughs, enjoy their unexpectedness.

                                                                        

 So dear friends. Never expect anything except the unexpected.

Milking It

So I've decided to start blogging what I know as a mom. Cause all though I haven't been a mom long, I have been a mom for almost 2 years of twins and that's saying something.

I wish there was a lot more information out there when I had the girls. Talk about having your life turned upside down with a baby! I had 2 to figure out!

I didn't feel like books were helpful to me and in fact felt condemned by them at times for not being this all natural, done everything by the book kind of mom.
Letting my children cry it out was like a sin, formula- even worse! I didn't appreciate these books that seemed so robotic, where was the life and truth in their words? Life happens.

Luckily I'm surrounded by honest to goodness mom's who are honest in it's pure tortures at times but also have a deep unconditional love for their children. REAL MOMS.
Find a network of these women near you!

Well, on to what I wanted to start doing. Giving my information in hopes it helps someone else with twins, or a single, or quads, or for me to look back on someday and remind myself I am NOT perfect, but I AM perfect for my children.

I want to start with the basic things when we first have our children. First off the most certain thing they need is- Milk.


The glorious golden liquid. It's priceless, It's perfect. It's made by your body and is made purely for your baby.
It's a magical time of intimacy. It's free. Can it get any better than that??
NOPE.

But unfortunately it can't happen for every woman. Many women struggle to keep up supply and it's darn right painful!
I would bite my lip down and kick my feet against whatever was near to pass the latch. Once one was latched, Daniel had to keep them in place while I prepped the other baby to latch on my other breast and once again, bite, kick and push through.  Finally both would be latched and all I could do was hold it all together. I didn't have an extra hand to eat, drink, re-position or keep them awake. They'd always fall asleep and Daniel had to keep waking them to drink. But worse was that one would always let go and I'd have to make them latch again! I couldn't keep them there.

It finally seemed easier to just do one at a time. I'd feed one and then I'd feed the other, and when I finished, the first would be hungry again and I'd start over. I felt like a cow. I was just constantly feeding and I had no time to myself to sleep, bathe, use the bathroom or eat.

Trail mix was my only food and water my only drink. Needless to say my supply wasn't very strong.
I also had one side that was so tender I'd cry when I tried to get them on it.

I wanted so badly to do it. To exclusively breast feed my girls. To give them the perfect source of food, that again is FREE. Formula is pricy and I have two babies to feed! I was in love with the intimacy I shared with my babies during that time. But I had not one moment to do a thing for myself. I was getting angry and irritated. I was in pain and I was heart broken. I was sleep deprived and stressed. I couldn't hand the girls off to anyone to relieve me to clean up, sleep a little, or enjoy some food at the table. 

It truly felt like one of the hardest moments of my life. Deciding to introduce and use formula.

Formula had it's downfalls. I had to pay for it. I had to buy double of it. I had to buy bottles, I had to buy double the bottles. I had to start washing bottles. I had to wash double the bottles. I had to prep the formula and prep double of it.
But the benefits, I could let Daniel feed them, or we could share them and I could have an arm free. I could excuse myself to clean, sleep, eat and other amazing things I wasn't getting done. I could let other people help feed them and it allowed me time to breath and function. I could feed them at the same time and actually work a feeding schedule, and I could see how much they were getting.

It can be a brutal and devastating feeling to go through or at least it was for me. Especially when all the books discuss how fantastic breast milk is (and I do agree) but it never talked about formula and how great that is too!
We live in a blessed time. We can get outside sources to feed our precious ones if we need to or just want to. It is made for them too.
Formula is not a sin. It is a blessing. I am thankful for the stuff.

We each have unique children and lives. And for me, having two and having to function the way I need to in order to support my children at my best meant I had to give them milk outside from me.

I'll be honest and say I didn't try very hard to find outside help. I really didn't want it. I wanted sleep. I wanted pain free. I wanted to eat! I sometimes wish I had tried harder, got help. But I realize what I did was best for me and them. I feel right with my decision. They are two very healthy, beautiful children and very smart.

Point: If you feel like you want to do something that isn't what books are saying is best, it's okay. You're not trying to hurt your child. You're trying to be the best mom.

Whichever choice you make, stick to it. Make the decision and let everyone around you know it and make sure that they support it or that they keep their mouths shut. It's your baby, your choice. Your need support not guilt.
If you decide to breast feed, then push for it. Ask for help, speak to a consultant, work to boost supply or take herbals to help you. Do what it takes. (and always discuss with a doctor)
And if you decide not to, it's not commiting murder. Your baby will still grow, healthy and well. You'll get benefits either way you go. The question is which will benifit you and your child the most and there is your answer on which way to go.

I do remember at one point while I was trying to breast feed and suggesting we go to formula, Daniel didn't exactly support the idea right away, and I told him, "You grow a pair of boobs and you see how it feels!' If only men did....

The business of being a mom

'Ah, the simple luxury of being a stay at home mom. It's easy to just sleep in, lounge on the couch and watch my favorite shows. I catch up with friends on the phone while my children play happily and well with one another' Said no mom ever.

I love going on blogs and reading up on how other moms make a business out of being a mom. They prep, they plan, they are doing as best they can to be on top of it all. I always think, "Yes. I will do this" and then don't. But I do find a more coordinated more thought out and prepped day makes it an easier day for my girls and me.

I work twice a week, and I do love my job. Maybe cause I'm only their twice a week but regardless it's my two days to kind of gain some sanity and talk to other adults. Then the other 5 days a week I am a stay at home mom. And I tell you with all truth, being home for a day with my two girls is harder work than the two days of actual work.

Seeing a mom who has it all planned out and have a routine defiantly has a 1up on me. I have days of no plans and just doing whatever, which can feel like days that I am trying to just stay afloat and survive. And days with play dates planned or a project to do with the girls planned out along with our usual eat, play, nap, routine in place always make my days a little bit easier. So the idea of getting a calendar/notebook to keep track of meals, housecleaning, projects, dates etc., doesn't seem like a bad idea at all.

It makes me feel kind of like I'm in some sort of profession. The business of being a mom....

I'm the boss and my children are my workers.

First off as bad as that can be made out to seem, I like to take a look at what a boss is.

A boss is a servant.
Well, how can that be? They are in charge.
Yes they are! They are the ones who make decisions, exercises authority, manage and direct. But for what purpose?? To better their company. To keep things organized for their company. And who is in their company? Their workers/employees are.
They direct and manage to benefit their workers. Their workers depend on their boss to keep things in an orderly fashion in order to flourish and grow.

I feel a great example of this is a Coxswain.
A coxswain is:
'the member who sits in the stern facing the bow, steers the boat, and coordinates the power and rhythm of the rowers.'

The sport of rowing is in the Olympics. It is a technical sport because the preciseness of each row and stroke is vital to keeping a moving functioning boat. Everyone must be exact and a Coxswain is there to direct, coordinate and create a rhythm... Ooooh now you get what I mean by how a boss is like coxswain AND how a mom is a boss, right?!

Another way coxswain is looked at is simply, 'boat servant'.

So a boss is a servant. And a good boss isn't a good boss by pushing BUT by leading. A good boss gets followed.

Mama = boss. Children = Workers.

Yes, saying my children are my workers sounds mean.
Whatevs. But um, think about it. If your child does good, listens, behaves, follows direction and gets the job done... you usually reward them! A worker goes to work, does their job and follows direction and what do they get? Paid! Nuff said.

 When we view ourselves more as bosses and less like the employee as moms we realize that:

1. We are still serving our children. By directing them and creating a functional home (business). We create the rhythm to keep the boat moving forward.

2. If we act as the employee to our children they don't know how to manage and we create chaos for them and insanity for us.

 3. With them as our 'workers' especially for children.... consistency, order, and direction is EXACTLY what they need and thrive on. They look for work, to have a task and to complete it. It helps them to grow in so many ways and it keeps them in line. There wont be an oar out of sync to fumble their boat.

4. Being a boss doesn't have to make you a mean person. You can still be a boss and love your children and have fun with them. They are to me, my little buddies, my friends and will be my adult children one day and I hope that they see all the love I poured into them and still want to be my buddies.

 Being a mom boss is hard, we're self employed, boss of our own company and it's a hard business. It's much more work than just creating a routine for sleeping and eating.

 It's teaching your child to move their hands, to direct a spoon in their hands to their mouth, teaching a person to walk, how to move their mouth to make the right sounds to talk, what right and wrong is, to teach the basics of numbers and letters and then going beyond that. It's constant cleaning, it's constant keeping your eyes on them and ears open to hear. It's being the doctor to their boo boos and surgeon to their dolls that got a hole in them. It's being a chauffeur and endless picking up and putting down. It's the greatest patience tester. It's learning every day something new as a mother. It's maintaining a well balanced diet for a child who refuses food so we make crazy faces and sounds in hopes they eat what we probably wouldn't want to eat either. We are a one man show. It's being their fashion coordinator and hair dresser in one. The nurse who gives a bath and cleans their butts.

We are:
Teachers
Doctors
Nurses
Surgeons
Drivers
Coordinators
Super hero's
Maids
Cooks
Waiters
Representatives
Dancers
Singers
Listeners
Clowns
& boss.

We are parents.

It's hard business. But it's good business.